I need help..

I have a problem.

It's a big one.

This self proclaimed entertainer/baker/cook ...

cannot make a chocolate chip cookie ...

to save her life.

Chocolate chip cookies are

quite possibly one of simplest recipes.

I can rattle the ingredients off the top of my head ...

butter, brown sugar, white sugar,

eggs and vanilla extract,

flour, baking soda, salt,

and chocolate chips, duh.

I've tried refrigerating dough,

and using less flour,

I've tried a variety of baking sheets,

and cookie sizes.

And they're rarely good.

And they're never perfect.

And sometimes they are too thin,

or too hard,

or too burnt,

or too something.

And I just want to be able to cook an awesome

chocolate chip cookie, goddamnit.

Is that too much to ask for?!

So please help a girl out and tell me your secrets.

Please?

and thank you.